Not So Happy Easter Meals and New Measurements

So in case you didn't read this, last night, shortly after midnight I had a rosemary pita bread with chicken salad (no, of course I didn't make it, I had brought it from a brunch at church) and it went pretty well. I had to burp a few times and I felt a little acid reflux but nothing major.

I was up late getting Easter stuff ready and I also had some pop corn L1 had made (she spices it up wonderfully). I had more than I should have because, at that point, I my judgment was impaired by my staying up so late and my new found freedom. I did stop before I had lost all dignity and I gave some serious thought to the idea of doing a late night fast (promising God that I will go to bed before 11pm for 40 days?).

I thought a lot about a Renegade Saints song, "Deep End" (from the Fear of the Sky CD, seriously one of my favorite CD's of all time).
Here's some band doing a cover of it, the original is much better but I couldn't find it --the link on the CD name will take you to it)



The part I thought about is:
"Never did I commit a sin that I did not love to commit,
always had my reasons for doing it (yes I did),
sometimes out of love, sometimes in hate,
never cuz I just got bored or stayed up too late"

I've always said that I wish this song were true for me, instead most of the sins I've committed in my life (most of them self-destructive to some degree) have been a direct result of simply staying up too late. So, you can bet on the fact that you'll be reading more about this in the days to come (if you're willing to keep reading now that Lent is over, I certainly am willing -and eager- to keep writing!).

But back to food. I went to bed late but feeling well, despite my fears of indigestion and nightmares. In the morning we had espresso with foam and everything! we added a little Frangelico and I even put chocolate shavings on my foam! I had some of the biscotti bites I ordered from Little Lyla's Bakery (delicious!) and even tried the wasabi peas that the Easter Bunny left in some of the eggs (hidden inside the house because of the rain).

No problem, so far so good! yay, took my measurements (I'll get to them in a minute! let me finish!) and went to church feeling great. After the service we went to brunch at a restaurant in the Highlands, I don't want to say the name because I don't want them associated with my bad experience. On the way there we had a conversation that made me upset, but by the time we got a table and I made my way to the omelet bar I thought I was calm enough to eat.

So, I don't know if it was being upset, or the cooked food, or the decaf with cream, but I (or should I blame my liver again?) proceeded to get totally sick very quickly. It reminded me of getting drunk in college, when you're sitting with your friends having fun and not really monitoring how many times you've refilled your beer mug and then getting up to go to the bathroom and your inner dialogue would go something like this:

"OH MY GOD! I am so drunk! Oh Lord, I didn't think I drank that much! I am so dizzy! Am I walking in a straight line? Walk in a straight line... shit! did I just stumble? I hope the bathroom is free, I think I am going to vomit, Oh God please don't let me vomit! not in front of all these cute guys, oh my Lord, I am SO SORRY, I will keep track of how much I drink next time, I promise, I am so sorry, and I feel SO sick, oh God help me, my head feels all buzzy, everything is SO LOUD, am I moving at a normal speed? I am having trouble breathing, why am I having trouble breathing? am I having a drunk heart attack? I can't wait much longer for this chick to get out, HURRY UP, I am going to either pass out or vomit right here, Oh God Help Me PLEEEEASE!"

I am NOT EXAGGERATING, the omelet I have fantasized about for days made me instantly sick. I went outside to get some fresh air (the restaurant was VERY stuffy), but I was afraid of passing out and hitting my head on the sidewalk so I went back in. I went to the bathroom and took off my Spanx, but that didn't help much. I drank cold water and wished I had not finished the omelet (it wasn't that good anyway, I just didn't want to waste food), I laid my head on the table, I breathed in slowly and heavily, and finally decided to go wait in the car. Walking seemed to help a bit and it made me burp a lot, I just felt like crying and my throat hurt (not as in a cold but as in tightness, L2 and I both feel the same thing before and during crying; sometimes it gets so tight it feels like we're choking). In the car I reclined and tried to rest.

Nutella  (Ferrero Nutella - 26.5 Ounces) the Easter Bunny left in my basket (by now you know I had a thing for hazelnuts, did I tell you how AWESOME they are raw?), and now I feel... well, not great.

I feel OK, but I feel bloated, not very clear headed and I have a tight spot in my solar plexus that just won't go away. 47 days ago I would have called this "normal" but now I know better. Tomorrow I am back to raw food, I will consider adding something cooked with dinner (hard boiled eggs? got plenty of those!) but I will proceed with caution.

Alright, now for the measurements from this morning!! (compared to the first set taken and last week's)

March 8th              April 16th      April 24th

Weight    183 lbs    169 lbs          168 lbs (Friday it was 167 :(  what happened?!!)

Bust        39.5"       38.25"          38.5" (probably holding in more breath)

Waist      35.75"     33.25"           32"!!!! (OK, I was really sucking it in, but I always suck it in, so there had to be quite a difference. Right now, that I'm feeling bloated, I get 32.5")

Hips        43"          41.5"            41.5"

Thigh      26.5"       25.25"          25"

So, since I first measured myself on Mardi Gras I have lost 15 lbs., 3.75" from my waist (or 3.25"), 1.5" from my hips, and 1.5" from my thighs. And, according to the tables in The Zone by Barry Sears (The Zone: A Dietary Road Map to Lose Weight Permanently : Reset Your Genetic Code : Prevent Disease : Achieve Maximum Physical Performance) in the last 46 days I have lost...

14.09 lbs of fat!! (13.79 if we use tonight's measurement) so my lean body mass is 118.83 lbs. My body fat percentage went from 34.57 to 29.27! Praise the Lord! and I am back to wearing LOTS of my old pants (not quite all of them yet, but I am on my way!).


Alright, it is 11:15 PM, I wake up at 6AM and this mild digestive discomfort is going to make sleep a bit of a challenge, so I will go to bed now and say a little prayer for you.
Thank you for stopping by (click on an ad please!) and have a wonderful night/day wherever you are.


PS. I am already looking forward to my smoothie in the morning, Alleluia!

Day 38, Forgive me Father, For I Have Sinned

I REALLY DID NEED THE CAFFEINE.

I had my smoothie for breakfast and that helped a bit, and I kept chewing gum because I ready that can make you feel alert. But as the morning progressed, so did my sleepiness and my inability to concentrate (I think it still has to do with my liver treatment yesterday). I went out and got my new favorite Wendy's item (yes, the Baja salad sans chili rides again) and I was supposed to go right back to work for a couple of possible cases in district court, and I just couldn't be yawning and asking the judge and the prosecutor to repeat themselves, and hoping they didn't complain to my boss, and agh!

SO I DID IT, I DID IT!!!! I got a cup of coffee...


with cream...


and I drank about a third of it,

trying not to enjoy it, I swear!

And I really kind of didn't, no, honestly, really, it wasn't that good! I drank it as I walked and I wish I could have recorded the guilty chatter in my brain... "hmm, it's ok, not that good, yes it's nice to be drinking it, but it's no hazelnut latte, you know, I just need a little bit of caffeine, I will check this docket, will they need me here?, see? I just had a sip and swallowed before I could really taste it at all! I am not really enjoying it! it's no big deal, it is just like the lukewarm Pepsi, no big deal, see? another mindless sip, I don't really like this, it is just like medicine"

I only had a little bit, then I left it in the office and went to ask the prosecutors if the Spanish speakers had appeared.

After looking around, and asking, and asking some more I finally became convinced I would not be needed, but left the prosecutors with my number just in case. Then I headed back downstairs to wait for that possible call before going home for the day...

all the way down all I could think of was that cup of coffee, its exact location on the desk, the fact that it was probably still warm, would the office smell like it? My brain: "NO NO NO, I was not enjoying it that much, in fact, when I go back I probably won't even drink any more of it, why am I thinking about it like it was Holy Water? C'mon! I'm just going to throw it away, no, no, I don't need to do THAT, I wasn't even enjoying it!"

So I went back and sat on a chair near the desk, looked at the coffee for a while and finally took another drink, only to discover that, indeed, it wasn't that good, and that's when I threw it away.


PS. For dinner I had a spinach salad with broccoli, red pepper, pepitas, cucumber and hummus.

Day 25, New Mision in Life

This morning Loren and I were going to get up early to go to hot yoga (I got us an awesome deal through LivingSocial for 20 sessions for $20 but we have yet to find the time to start them! By the way, if you are interested in signing up for your daily email with deals in your city, click either link and you will get 5 Deal Bucks to spend on whatever deal you want).

The alarm went off at 6am and I made a brave attempt at pretending I didn't want to keep sleeping. Loren said that breathing all the varnish fumes yesterday must have gotten to him because he felt a little asthmatic...


I have never been so happy to hear my husband complain of a possibly-life-threatening condition!

We went back to bed and, even though he says he set the alarm for 8, we didn't wake up until almost ten. So this morning has been leisurely to say the least. I'm enjoying it.

Since my smoothie is a very portable breakfast (the main reason I came up with it) I like to reserve it for work days and decided today I would have some GRAWnola. I made my own with 1/4 cup of sprouted buckwheat, 1/4 cup of walnuts, 1/4 cup of dried blueberries and about 3/4 cups of vanilla yogurt. Very yummy and filling!  Unfortunately... it gave me acid reflux!!! I think it is the processed sugar in the store-bought yogurt! I guess my body REALLY doesn't want me to have any more processed sugars, which I am happy to do without.

What I am still not so happy to do without is crunchy salty carbs (chips, crackers, etc), and I am still missing coffee (not caffeine, just COFFEE). I realize (and hope) that this might go away once we pass the magical 30 day threshold, and I also realize that I might not be missing these things so much if I were having more "Fun With (Raw) Food".

I continue to eat the same 4-5 things over and over again and I am getting tired of it. In fact, I have made a list so I can get ingredients to make a few things that I haven't had in a while (Gazpacho, Raw Hummus, etc). I also have been on the Internet for a while this morning (OK, it's after noon. OK, I should be putting varnish on the ceiling. OK, I have laundry to be done too! OK, I should at least go for a walk outside!!... see how my brain works?) looking for new recipes....

I did find a recipe for marinated mushrooms that looks promising, another one for mushrooms and basil (dehydrated together) that could be fun, and I was reminded of a shredded carrot salad my sister used to make (with pineapple and raisins) that I love. BUT, here is the problem with 90% of the recipes I find...

They require A LOT OF WORK.

People... I DON'T COOK!! 

I didn't cook when I was eating cooked food! Why would I want to spend hours laboring over something that is going to end up being a lukewarm (and perhaps poor) imitation of something I can't have!!!!

So I have A New Mission in Life.
[OK, this is not going to be the main, principal, driving force in my life, but it is becoming more and more important]
I am going to write a "Guide to Health Through Food for Non-Cooks on a Budget"
How does that title sound?
It will be something any idiot can pick up, make sense of, and apply to their life without breaking the bank or having to, all of a sudden, learn to cook. It will be an amalgamation of the knowledge I have acquired and applied over the last decade in terms that any normal-non-cook-who-shops-at-the-regular-grocery-store can incorporate into their life in order to improve their health and well being.

I don't know about you, but I am getting REALLY excited over this! Now I just have to finish 10-12 other projects I have going so I can find the time to get it done, but it's brewing! I started an outline! it's going to happen people!

Day 20, I didn't inhale (not even when the devil was rising)

Ok, ok, I had coffee today, but I didn't inhale! By that I mean I got a small cup of plain ol' store coffee (not yummy home made Costa Rican) with some fake creamer. I didn't enjoy it I swear! But I had it because I was really yawny and I couldn't go work in a court room like that.

Loren is right, our lifestyle really requires caffeine because we hardly ever get enough sleep. While I will try to stay off caffeine after Easter I will also try to be more of a grown up about going to bed at a decent hour.

Alright, on to today's menu, I had my smoothie in the morning. My smoothie is like my rock. The rest of the day could go to h*#$ in a hand basket but my smoothie gets me started on the right foot and I know I can count on it to get me through at least 1PM.

For a late lunch I had two, count them!, TWO side salads from Wendy's (I was in between appointments and had forgotten to pack a lunch, but they are nice!, no meat, fresh ingredients, with Marzetti dressing and croutons, which I gave to L1), and I was good about reminding myself to drink water (I don't get thirsty during the day anymore, but then I get really thirsty at night). For late afternoon snack I had a few pieces of dried apples. For dinner I had a generous serving of my Asian Slaw and a glass of orange juice with cranberry juice (about a 7/1 ratio). For dessert I had a few pieces of dried apricots. I must confess that I added a bit of raw Ramen noodles to my slaw, because the original recipe calls for it. I knew it wasn't good but I tried to fool myself with "well, it's raw!". BIG mistake! I had less than 1/4 of the package and I am pretty bloated, ugh. As we used to say in Montana "that oughtta learn me!".

And did I mention I EXERCISED today!!!? I did a short walking DVD (30 minutes) but it uses weights so I get a decent little work out and it helps my back and arms a lot when I do it regularly.

It's been a good day. L2 did not have a fever when she woke up today :) and it has only gone up about a degree. She's had weird stomach pains on and off, so we won't send her to school yet, and we are going to do a few more blood tests, but things seem to be looking up.

Well, this is turning out to be quite the mundane and boring post isn't it?

I've been saving a story just for this occasion! I had a very trippy dream the other morning (right before the start of Day 16, which was crazy enough in itself).

I had been up several times to check on L2 and sit with her to guide her through breathing slowly and deeply, which helped her with the pain and allowed her to sleep for a bit. At one point she fell asleep so I returned to my bed only to wake HER up with my trippy-dream-induced groaning.

First I have to explain that when I have nightmares I try to end them by invoking the name of Jesus (Pilippians 2:10) but if I am not sleeping very soundly then my body tries to actually speak the words and, for some frustrating reason, I can't just say it in my dream. But I am not really a sleep talker, in fact, my mouth refuses to move past falling slightly open, and I end up moaning like a depressed, drunk Wookiee.

Needless to say, L2 was very scared but had the guts to come into my room and say "Mom are you OK?" which, thankfully, woke me up. My husband, in the mean time, instead of waking me up as he's been instructed, would shush me in his sleep with a rapid succession of short and really loud "sh's" (he was still doing it when I woke up).

So here is the dream that prompted all that, if you have ANY CLUE whatsoever as to what it means, please tell me!!:

We were looking at a condo with a female Realtor, she always walked ahead of us. The condo looked like an old house, nothing but fancy dark wood trim everywhere; it was small and the hallways were narrow. As we progressed the place got darker and darker, the Realtor and Loren didn't seem to even notice. I kept thinking, "this is a house, why do they call this a condo? I should look at the outside to see if it IS a condo, because this looks like a house". We went down a hallway and took a sharp turn to the right into a stairwell, on the landing were three tall rectangular windows that made the wall round, and Loren and I said "oh, well, there you go, that's why it is a condo!" (right, see why I need help analyzing this?)

As we started climbing the stairs, first the Realtor, then Loren, then me, it was so dark we couldn't see, so I reached back to the end of the banister to feel around for the light switch. I felt a weird switch and moved it, immediately, at the top of the stairs a fire was lit in what I knew was a large but shallow rectangular "pool" in the middle of the round room. The switch started the fire like you start a fire in an electric fireplace, I knew it was contained and was not worried about it burning anything else. What worried me about it is that the devil (yes, THE devil) was rising up out of the fire, I could see his huge hand with long nails, his skin was periwinkle (I know!!).

I quickly turned the switch again to turn it off, but, for some reason I don't remember (maybe because Loren and the Realtor had continued up the stairs in the dark?) I turned it back on and again the devil started rising. By now I knew there was a satanic ritual going on in the top floor and I was probably already starting my drugged-out Wookiee impersonation. Without climbing the steps I found myself in the room; Loren and the Realtor were looking around at the architecture, as if they couldn't see the devil rising from the fiery pool and the couples that were lying down around him having a Martha Graham-esque orgy while wearing white and yellow unitards (one person in each couple would be wearing white, the other yellow, I knew it was supposed to be an orgy because one woman had an arm and a boob out of hers). They were writhing on each other in very lascivious ways and --right when L2 woke me up-- I was trying to say:

"This looks like a bad 70's movie!"

So there's my dream! I tried to make sense of it but couldn't. I even tried to look at it with the idea that you are everyone your dreams; I just got more confused. Some of the things make a little bit of sense (we are talking about buying a condo instead of renting, I like wood, I like Martha Graham, I don't like the devil or those fake electric fireplaces) and I had just had a Tarot reading the night before from my friend the Undercover Goddess in which she told me to start paying more attention to my dreams, but wow, I am still laughing and wondering.

So, analyze away! and stay away from processed food!