No, it's not pirate day. I am just very frustrated.
I don't feel at liberty to share what is going on, but I do want to talk, briefly, about how it affects me (and then talk about food of course).
Someone let me down today, but see, this comes after a loooooong line of disappointments and I am just fed up. I feel like giving up on the relationship, but, instead, I give up on myself!
I realized tonight that:
1. Emotional upsets now get me physically upset as well (maybe this happened before but I didn't notice it as much because my system was not as clean?)
2. Feeling like I have been treated badly makes me want to treat myself badly (not exercise, eat the wrong things, stay up too late).
**********HOW STUPID IS THAT???**********************
So, I will be mulling that one over for a while (the good news is I did not mistreat nor neglect myself too much tonight, although it IS 11:26PM and I have to be up, again, at 5:45 --these long days are getting to me!).
Food wise today was a good day, yesterday... not so much.
I started with the obligatory (and beloved, don't get me wrong) smoothie, then had a salad with chicken and for dinner I was just going to have a small snack, go see L1 in a recital for school (she kicked BUTT) and then come back and eat some fruit.
The snack consisted of what I lovingly call a "constipation sandwich" (one slice of whole wheat bread (we get the kind with "double fiber" but wait till you hear what I put on it), cream cheese, and jalapeno pepper jelly).
But wait, it gets better. Then we picked up Loren and he had not eaten, and L2 said she was still hungry (she had a proper sandwich), and, honestly, I kind of was too, so we went to Dizzy Whizz (a Louisville institution) and I ate a double burger with American cheese (the really processed kind) and tartar sauce, amazing fries, and a coleslaw that tasted like it had butter in it.
At one point I even said "I wonder how on earth I am going to poop tomorrow!"
This morning my gut was very gurgley and it hurt a bit, but it was not as bad as I expected (I think all the grease helped slide it out). I had another smoothie this morning and that helped get the day started correctly.
I did skip lunch but instead snacked on dried soy nuts, dried apples, dried apricots, and fresh pineapple. It has been very hot and muggy today and I think that is why I was not hungry for dinner, so I just had a small spinach salad.
Ok, I have yawned three times in the last paragraph and I have another fuuuuuull day tomorrow. My goal for tomorrow is to be sweet and happy and to drink a lot more water than I did today.
Sleep well everyone and happy Wednesday!