Day 17, Fast within a fast

I had a dorm room neighbor in college who had a thick Texan accent, sweet girl, can't remember her name, but she forever re-named matryoshka dolls in our house.
When she saw I had one on my desk she said "Oh, you have one of them doll inside a doll inside a doll dolls!", well today I'm on a fast inside a fast inside a fast fast.

I got an email from the Sojourners asking me to join them for a "month-long campaign of prayer, fasting, and action" because of the many budget cuts being discussed in congress that would hurt the poor in our country and abroad.  I am not explaining it very well, here is a quote:

In addition to cuts to many critical programs that directly impact the lives, and even survival, of the poorest people -- in the U.S. and around the world -- there are now plans to single out the programs that help low-income people and cut them the most.


The campaign asks supporters to contact their congressmen, donate money, pray and fast every Monday in April. So I decided to join them, starting today, by only drinking juice all day and focusing on the needs of others rather than ours (which, with all the family drama, car wrecks and illnesses lately, have been a constant topic of my prayers).
If you would like to join me in this campaign follow this link, I also recommend checking out their site and signing up for the daily Verse and Voice email.

So, today I have only been drinking orange juice with cranberry juice (Pure Cranberry Juice - Knudsen Brand -100% -Unsweetened -From concentrate (1L) Brand: Knudsen) and focusing on taking care of my little girl. She is doing great today, in good spirits, no stomach ache (for the first time in over a week!) and enjoying creative activities. I have been washing her sheets, airing out her comforter (my moon calendar app told me today was a good day to do that, I'm totally serious!) and spraying Lysol on pillows and door knobs.

It's been difficult, I won't deny it. Loren went out to get some things and while he was making the list I asked him to bring orange juice concentrate and a "bag of Easter" so I can finally have some chips. I felt a lot of admiration for Loren yesterday, he was having a really hard time with it all, was extremely sleep deprived, hungry and scared. Every time the doctors would ask for a new test he would have visions of an old time gas pump rolling up the numbers, and all he wanted was comfort food, but he didn't cave. On the way home he got himself a salad and didn't even eat the croutons, I was so proud of him.

It was easier for me; I realize that this raw food diet IS what has been keeping me sane through these experiences. I am so thankful that I don't have to add feeling fat, disliking myself, feeling uncomfortable in my clothes, overeating, bloating, reflux, etc to the challenges that life has thrown our way. 

So I today am trying to stay strong and keep things in perspective. What's an uncomfortable day for me when my little girl has been sick on and off for months? What's a bit of a hunger pang now and then when there are kids right here in KY and all over the world who routinely go to bed hungry (and now the GOP wants to make sure there are more of them)?

Thank you for visiting, I wish you peace, laughter and good food.

Day 12, Are we there yet?

Right off the bat I will confess today I'm feeling a little sorry for myself and I am having trouble keeping a good attitude about this sacrifice. In a way today has been the first day that it has really felt like a sacrifice.

Also, I got really sleepy this afternoon, as well as yesterday, which makes no sense at all, since I actually got a decent amount of sleep both nights. I am not sure that this is related to the food; it could just be the fact that from Monday through Wednesday I got 4 hours of sleep each night and maybe I just needed to recover. But usually the full moon makes it hard for me to sleep, so this is unusual.

The day started pretty well (eating-wise), I had my smoothie while getting ready for church. L2 had a bad attitude when she woke up and was playing the victim claiming she got very little sleep. We told her if she acted like she was sick she would not get to go to school tomorrow (the worst punishment for her), so she got ready and ate breakfast. By the time the sermon started her stomach hurt and she was shivering. I felt her forehead and she was burning up. Yes, this is the same child that was sick when I started this blog. I know.

So my husband took her home and came back to pick us up (we couldn't all just leave because people had ordered pork and I had to stay to hand it out). We stopped by the store on the way home to get her some real cranberry juice (Pure Cranberry Juice - Knudsen Brand -100% -Unsweetened -From concentrate (1L) Brand: Knudsen) because it is supposed to help flush out your lymphatic system (it is INCREDIBLY tart so we dilute it 1oz of juice to 7oz of water and add honey for sweetness). Already at the store I started feeling hungry and "chineada", as we would say in Costa Rica, like I just want somebody to spoil me today. I had some LowFat Plain Kefir 32fl.oz. because I started to feel like my sugar was dropping and I wanted something to hold me over, but mostly I would have loved to grab some chips or something warm and soft with melted cheese on it.

At home I played "Guess Who" with L2 and later cooked her some "Picadillo"(in Costa Rica a picadillo is a side dish made of chopped vegetables with spices, sometimes with meat). I made it with our home raised pork sausage (hot) cooked as if it were ground beef, green beans, broccoli, garlic powder and salt. This just helped to make me feel more sorry for myself. I just want my girl to feel better and eating to be easy and for my husband to make me yummy food! (he usually does, I am not talented OR lovely in the kitchen).

He fixed himself a Greek salad and he had better things to do than make me Pico de Gallo

This thermometer is a life saver!
I put the probe in the food and the thermometer
stays outside, then it BEEPS when the food
reaches the programed temperature!!

so I made it myself and it did not turn out very good (if you follow the link and see the recipe, you'll see that it would be really hard to screw up Pico de Gallo! but that's just a talent I have). I also wanted something warm so I sliced a portabello mushroom in half (fat way) and put it in the toaster oven to warm up, but you see, warming up something to exactly 115 degrees is NOT easy, and is a lot more time consuming than any non-cook has patience for. But I stuck with it, I put the probe of my cooking thermometer (Taylor TruTemp Digital Cooking Thermometer) in it and waited. Then I realize it was going to take forever (you cannot set the temperature of the oven too high because it will go over very quickly) so I put it on broil and watched it, then I put it back on bake, then back on broil, you get the idea. The other thing you have to know is that the thermometer saves batteries by turning itself off after a few minutes of "inactivity" so you have to be checking on it A LOT.
I still love my thermometer though, the beeping helps a lot, especially since I am the type of cook that will put something on the stove, get distracted by something shiny and walk away indefinitely.

During this so called "process" (I would call it BS), I had a lettuce wrap that actually was very decent. We had some wanna-be Guacamole from yesterday (no red pepper nor cilantro in it because we were out) and Loren made me some Savory Brazil Nuts. So I put some of Guacamole, nuts and my Pico de Gallo on a leaf of red lettuce and it was quite nice! if you closed one eye and tilted your head just so it let your brain believe that maybe it was actually eating some spicy meat.

ANYWAY, finally the internal temperature of the much awaited portobello mushroom "burgers" came to 115 and I put them on my plate, then I added a little butter (yes BUTTER! I don't wanna hear it! I'm already having pasteurized milk in my yogurt, I TOLD you on like day 9 that I was allowing myself some things, OK? get off my back!

**breathes deeply and reaches for cranberry juice tainted white wine**
...
......
... I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, I don't know what came over me, you did NOT deserve that, it won't happen again), garlic powder and salt. I bit into the first bite with much anticipation and fantasies of grilled portobellos with strawberries from Asiatique, only to taste a barely lukewarm raw mushroom with a bit of a garlic butter on top.

**sighs and feels sorry for herself one last time**

So after that I chopped up some pecans and added some maple syrup (I know I KNOW it is boiled, so is the honey! did you miss my tantrum a mere paragraph ago?) and had that for dessert. I also just finished a cup of white wine with a bit of cranberry juice (the term "weird Lenten alcoholic" could just be prophetic, let's hope not!).

Thanks for putting up with my bad attitude today. I am done and I promise to be good from now on. I know there is a lesson to be learned in L2's illness. I chose this path, apparently so did she. From now on, we will be feeding her A LOT  more raw, fresh, good food (not that she eats crap now, but apparently she needs it more), and I am cutting refined sugar, which we KNOW depresses the immune system, and I will limit her gluten intake too, just in case. She will also be getting LOTS of sleep and energy work from her momma.

As for myself I will continue to do this and will actually try to do it better, I wonder if my sleepiness the last two days has to do with the things I have been allowing myself (yogurt, honey, etc) and I will try to cut them off. Also, this past week I was cramping so I did not feel like exercising, but I will do some this week. And, finally, I will make myself go to bed before midnight!!

Now I'm off to have a rare Sunday night at home with the family, we are going to watch movies and hopefully laugh a lot.

My love to all of you, really, all of you, especially those of you I have not met but have been reading from Brazil, Singapore, Denmark and Iran! Bless you all and have a great week!